The Sandwich Generation Survival Guide

Everyday another 6,000 people take on a caring responsibility. Many of these unpaid family caregivers are suddenly finding themselves in the sandwich generation, squeezed between immediate families and ageing parents.

Knowing how to help our parents isn’t easy, especially when you already have so much else going on (work, family life, your relationship and more). That’s why ElWell, an online caregiving hub, was created. Run by two women with personal and professional caregiving experience, their website offers support to people going through this. And here they’ve given their sandwich generation survival guide tips.

 

Helicopter parenting

“Parenting our parents” is an odd concept – they’re the people we’ve turned to and looked up to our whole lives. Plus, they have their own wants, needs and money so are used to being in control of their lives. The first step to helping them is to really take stock of what you’re concerned about, and how you can collectively all help. They will be much more likely to let their adult children intervene if they agree with what you’re suggesting.

Sit back and observe what you see to be the core concerns, so you can present scenarios and solutions. Are they talking about other drivers constantly beeping them on the road, or are they forgetting things on the phone? Maybe you notice that their house is becoming messier, or you’re worried that they have fallen over. We call this helicopter parenting – you’re around but taking stock.

 

Arrange a family conversation

You’ve now got a solid basis to start a conversation. This isn’t a quick chat – make sure that your parents know you want to talk with them and arrange a time when they feel comfortable and secure to do so. Get your siblings involved so you’re presenting a unified front (this is also important moving forwards, when it comes to helping and supporting each other).

Your parents may be hesitant to talk about getting older – conversation starters can help in this case. For example, “how are you, I was wondering if there’s anything you’ve noticed becoming harder?”. What you want is to talk through your areas of concern, see if they agree (or if they have other) and then collectively agree on next steps.

 

Asking for help

As our parents get older, there’s so many areas they may need help with, and you need to be able to lean on others for support. This isn’t a sign of failure but will help you all in the long term.

Write down everything you do, and then be honest with what you (and other people who can help) are capable with taking on. From there, assign tasks that work to people’s strengths and locations. There’s lots people can do from the other side of the country (or the world!). Even just setting up a WhatsApp group with key family members to keep people updated, show the scale and ask for input and help could be a first step.

Family support can be huge, but also look for paid support to help you too. Carers, physiotherapists, drivers and more can all give you some headspace and your parent additional company.

 

 

 

Naidex exhibitors ElWell (Stand J31) help navigate individuals through this journey. Covering topics from incontinence to mobility aids, and everything in between. 

You can find ElWell online at www.el-well.com, or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/elwellwellbeing.